Thursday, December 28, 2017

COMIC: Denial





Welcome to my world, Mr. Husband.


Friday, December 22, 2017

COMIC: Not Even Kidding...






Bau ikan bilis tu mmg dah habis toxic la pada dia
Tau la kan bila goreng ikan bilis, mmg bau harum semerbak, so satu rumah lah mmg bau ikan bilis

Waktu menggoreng ikan bilis mmg saat saat genting la la to Don, tak boleh napas katanya, bau habis menusuk hidung katanya...dramatik habis la laki aku ni.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

COMIC: Rub Me the right way

Hey guys!

Don just got meself a new Wacom tablet! Woohooo!

So stay tuned for more webcomics!!


Saturday, December 16, 2017

Sedih

Shit la. I made the mistake of re-reading my old posts in this blog. Sampai la tang post this:


Meleleh air mata gua baca balik what I wrote uolsssss!

Emosiiiiii

Because I remember exactly what happened and how I felt!

It's a shitty feeling when people think you're the reason why this household won't be able to eat for the week.
It's a shitty feeling when you feel like you're unwanted, where you don't feel belong. 
It's a shitty feeling when you can't do anything to help the situation and you yourself need some help. 


Remembering back, it was sooooo bad. I felt soooo fucking alone and foreign. Terkontang-kanting aku sensorang kat situ, unable to defend myself. 

I don't want to relive that moment. 

I also haven't told my family about it, there's really no reason to anyway. I mean apa diorg boleh buat pun kan? Plus, that was yeaaarsss agoooo. Now I'm no longer a moocher and I can support myself. 

Sekarang aku pulak yg kasi duit monthly for the parents in law. Which I don't mind, it's like payback la kan. They've been helping me all these years so i don't mind helping them now. Both of them are retired now. 

But guess what, not only ahkakipar tu masih lagi terkapai-kapai tak cukup duit itu ini, now we have adik ipar pulak yg setiap bulan tak cukup duit itu ini. Tapi setiap weekend aku tengok diorg keluar berjoli. Sewa rumah bil elektik air semua tak pernah cukup. So guess who la diorg korek duit? Of course la mak mertua haku kan. And guess where la mak mertua dpt duit utk support anak anak dia tu? Of course la dari aku kan. 

So in a way, the reason sebab rumah diorg masih ada heater, power, TV, phone bill bagai, semua bersumber dari duit gaji aku. 

now who's the moocher bitch.

Sekian. 

Way to End 2017


What's up homies.
Setelah setahun tak update blog, tetiba teringin nak update uols.

Punyalah lama tak update, sampai password pun tak ingat. Nasib baik a year ago or so gua dah tukar no phone untuk 2-step verification to my US number. Kalau tak, mmg confirm verification code tu sampai ke mamat yg guna my Malaysian number.

Speaking of which, terkejut jugak la bila nampak my own name kat WhatsApp (yes I added my own phone number in my phone) display picture dah tukar to gambar kereta. Confirm la bukan aku kan. So I messaged "my number" and it turned out to be this dude that's the new owner of the number. Celcom recycled number aku lepas aku tak bayar bill selama 2 tahun hahahahh.

Gila apa aku nak bayar, first of all, paying Malaysian bills when you're out of the country is a pain in the ass. Nak kena buat international transfer bagai. Paling tak boleh blah, most Malaysian bills require TAC number kalau nak bayar online. Macam haroommm. Mana aku nak korek nombor phone Malaysia.

Secondly, Celcom tak de "pay as you use" plan. Macam dedulu. Kau cuma bayar kalau kau guna line. They forced me to pay RM40 monthly basically for nothing. It was for the account fee. Memang lah tak mahal mana pun especially kalau kau convert to USD. Dlm what, $9 monthly je. Memula tu rajin la jugak aku transfer duit bayar bill Celcom, tapi lelama, mmg lemakkk ahhhh. Fee utk transfer duit from my US bank to my Malaysian bank lagi mahal dari fee yg aku kena bayar utk Celcom. Mintak hampunnnn la.

I should have called them and requested them to deactivate my phone, tapi ntah. Malas kot. Tak ingat kenapa I didn't do it, this happened a couple of years ago dah. Ni mmg cerita throwback habis ah.


ANYWAY, enough about old story la, now it's time to get current.

Well I don't really have anything to talk about....life tak de la se-happening mcm life kat Malaysia. Over here, my life is about work, and laki gua.

Oh SHOUT OUT TO LAKI GUA UOLSSS, he just turned 33 last 12/12!

"I finally caught up to you" bak katanya.

Plsssss. I'm only 6-weeks older than him, bukan 6 years ke apaaa. Habis macho la tu kenkonon he bagged an "older woman". HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Work-wise, not sure if I've mentioned this in my previous posts before, almaklumlah, update blog pun sekali setahun, mana gua nak ingat apa isi kandungan last post. But anyway, gua dpt promotion 10 months ago and I got meself a cozy little corner office. Mata-mata manusia kat office tu jeling jeling je la. Ye la kan, gua kan budak baru, baru joined company setahun, dpt promotion lompat 2-3 positions sekali gus, tetiba dpt opis u guysssssss. Tapi pedulikkkkkkkkkkk apaaaa akuu, I worked my ass off, and still working my ass off, so i deserve it.

Also since I'm much familiar dgn my current position right now, boss gua dah start campak gua merata-rata. I'm still getting myself comfortable having to travel all over the US. Director gua dah bising bising tanya bila gua nak renew passport (passport expired uolsss hahaha). I still don't have the time to travel to New York to get it renewed. Very inconvenient siot. Malaysia government ni ingat US ni kecik macam Malaysia je kot.

ANYWAY, I'm planning my next work trip to Denver Colorado in Feb 2018. Aduiii, travel time winter leceh gilaaaa wehhh. Dah la pergi Denver, confirm weather tak menentu, dan dan turun salji bagai. Leceh wehhh. Pergi seminggu, confirm balik peluk laki rinduuu ya amaaatttt

Eh, laki gua masuk bilik air pun gua dah rindu ok

HAHAHAHAHA


MOVING on, I was planning to go to the mall today, tapi pemalasnyaaaa ya ampunnnnnn. Bukak pintu je ZUUUUUUUUFFF angin sejuk hala kemuka. Mmg gua tutup balik lah pintu. Lepas tu macam macam alasan la gua kasi kat diri sendiri, hari Sabtu orang ramai la, especially time time nak Xmas ni kan, pastu takut ada some crazy folks tetiba bawak pistol ke apa...hahahahaha, mmg saikosis kan. It was just me trying to convince myself not to go out.

Memang berbeza dgn my old self. I'd go out in an instant. Especially time time sejuk ni kan. Ketiak tak de la berpeluh. I mean I'm still the same, it's just sometimes I'd like to be lazy and NOT DO ANYTHING. Haha, confirm makcik walrus ni dah mcm orang tua. Lagipun laki gua ni mmg jenis sama pe'el. Memasing pemalas nak mampos. So we spent our Saturday taking naps. HAHAHA. Sumpah weh, kitaorg berdua mmg terbongkang tido siang siang hari.

I still need to go to the mall though, sebab gua kena repair my watch. Tengok la besok mcm mana. Or I can go on Monday, sebab I work from home every Mondays uolsss (one of the perks of my job).

Ok la, I think I need to do something else now, ntah la, I don't know what yet, hahaha, maybe main The Sims 4 kot.

Sementara itu, ENJOY GAMBAR LAKI BINI SAIKOSIS NI YAAA.

Picture taken during our 2017 Thanksgiving.
Sesiapa yg dah tengok gambar ni....well too bad! Sila la tatapi gambar ni lagi. HAHAHHAH

Sekian!






Thursday, April 27, 2017

Walrus

Ok aku macam tak de update yang munasabah ataupun yang berbaloi korang nak baca. Tapi jari jemari halus mulus ai ni gatal nak update blog. Rasa ala-ala productive sikit la, walaupun entry ke laut. Tapi pedulikkkkk la kan. Nasib korang la kekadang dapat entry sampah mcm ni. (eh hari hari pun entry sampah)

Short update:
Mak walrus ni has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic.

Yaassss. I am so unhealthy that I had to have the lab results hit me on the face.

I'm not diabetic yet, so tak perlu nak cucuk insulin bagai (I think that's a different type of diabetes or something? Ntah, gua tak arif lagi pasal medical ni). But I'm getting there if I don't change my lifestyle.

My doctor refused to put me on pills sebab she said I'm still young to be depending on pills. She also said "GET THAT BUTT MOVING GIRLLLL" (yes, my doctor is hip and awesome. She's also young). So I'm trying to constantly move during the day.

Nak terus terus jump onto the exercise routine lapanblas jam sehari tu memang tak la. That's too high of a goal. Tak realistic. So instead of signing up for unrealistic goals like that, I plan to actively move throughout the day. I will try to get on the treadmill for at least 20minutes and have my daily goal of 8000 steps.

I will increase once I'm more acquainted with the activities.

My health coach (yes y'all. Ahkak ada health coach. uols. She's a dedicated health coach at my workplace, so you can book her time slot), she gave me a fitbit to try. I told her I don't want to splurge on something that I don't know if I'd like it. So now I have this fitbit on my wrist. Macam best pulak tengok the number of steps tu. Aku ni memang jenis competitive, so if I see my coworkers with a lot of steps, I will try to beat their numbers. My health coach cakap, this could work then!

So we shall see berapa lama aku tahan.

Tengok tengok besok malam I will stuff my face with a cheesecake.

Eh, tetiba kempunan cheesecake.

HAHAHAHA baru sat tadi cakap pasal healthy activities bagaiiiiiii, tapi dah dasar pelahapppppp



Ok bai.









Saturday, April 22, 2017

Pap Smear

For the first time in my life, I went for a pap smear test.

homaigod.

Ok ceritanya gini.

I scheduled my appointment for a pap smear on Feb. The first time I went to see my doctor, hari tu cuma untuk sesi berkenalan je. Dia nak tau family history, my health history, current medication blah blah. Kira that day was for the patient (aka me) to gauge whether or not I'd like this doctor to be my doctor.

The procedure over here, kita boleh hire-and-fire your doctor to be your Primary Care Physician (PCP). Your PCP will be your first contact kalau ada apa-apa masalah as well as caring for your on-going health issues. So instead of going to some random clinic ke hospital ke apa, you'd first go to see your PCP, they will diagnose you and recommend the proper solution. They'd also refer you to a trusted specialist if you need. If you need ubat ke apa, they'll provide the prescription for you and you can bring that prescription to the pharmacy. They're your family doctor la kiranya.

Speaking of ubat, hospitals and doctors office usually tak de obattt. You'd have to get your obat from outside pharmacies. Usually drug stores ada pharmacy segment at the back, so you'd bring your prescription from your doctor to them, and they'll provide you with your meds.

ANYWAY

So I scheduled my appointment, and my doctor told me to schedule another appointment for physical.

Like crap. Tak boleh ke buat sekali gus. Malasnyaaaaa nak kena amik cuti bagai.
But whatever lah. More of a reason for me to prep my vagina. LOLOL

So I did. I scheduled 2 weeks after that day. When the day came, tetiba la pulak period kan. I wasn't sure if you can do your pap smear WHILE on period. Aku fikir, mesti bersembur sembur darah bila kangkang kan...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Damn imaginasi tinggi.

I rescheduled it, a month later.

So the day for my physical finally arrived. Oh before tu lupa nak bagitau, on the day itself (my appointment was at 2:30pm), in the morning I was working. So I rushed home, got home around 1pm-ish, had lunch etc. Tengah tengah rehat sambil tunggu jam 2am (the health center is only 10mins from my house), tiba tiba teringat:

"OH SHIT. AKU TAK SHAVE PEPET LAGI"

Then kelam kabut shave. Nasib baik gua ni pro. Guna shaver laki. Dia shave muka, gua shave pepet.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAH

Tahik gila aku ni

Anyway, kau nak present your vajayjay to a stranger, takkan kau nak dia perform treasure hunting kot. Kena selak selak baru jumpa. HAHAHAHHAHA

Ok I'm making it sounds so horrible, it's not that horrible guys. Aku tak de la biarkan pubic hair tumbuh so wild sampai boleh buat braids, y'alls.

Jijik.

Macam mana laki aku nak perform hobi di malam Jumaat kalau bukak bukak je WHOOSSHH rumput sejambak.

HAHAHAHSJAHSJAHSJAHS

Oh speaking of malam Jumaat, what in the world does that mean? Meaning kau cuma have sex hari Jumaat je ke? (or is it on Thursday night itself?)

But whatever it is, damn how do you live with that. Once a week? It's not a chore ladies. It's human nature, we want it all the time.

Anyway I digress.

So back to my pap smear test (HAHAH yes aku ni kuat get off track). So I dragged my husband with me in the room. My doctor came, we talked a bit, blah blah, then she told me wear this hospital gown yg ada cuma strings tu. Ok, meh sini aku nak complain, ni gown utk budak budak ke apaaaa. My boobs can barely fit the damn thing!

Anyway, so I laid on the medical chair thingy (??for some reason my brain can't think what it's called, but you should know what I mean), she covered my bottom half with a cover, and said "Ok, I'm going to check for any lumps on your breasts now ok"

I was like.

"Um, okay, go ahead, pile on onto my uncomfortable-ness"

All of us laughed at my dumb joke.

Dude, I don't know why but I'd make dumb jokes when I'm uncomfortable.  I used to just talk non-stop, but apparently I've developed this habit where I'd say stupid shit. I guess it's my brain trying to ease up the situation or something.

Anyway, she opened my gown, and pressed on my boobs. Squeeze and squeezed.

DUDE, IT HURT.

Don't get me wrong, I like it rough on the bed, but THIS FRICKING HURT.
LOLOL

She said all is normal.
I replied "Good, because that hurt and I don't want to do it again"

LOL
Sorry, I couldn't help my mouth.

Then she went on to pull the leg structures from the chair (sorry, don't know what it's called), and asked me to put my legs there. She told me to move forward so that my butt touches the edge of the chair.

She lubed up the device, and told me to take a deep breath. And she shoved it in.

Ok first thing first here. The "shoving" part, didn't hurt at all. maybe the fact that I'm used to big stuff LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, but it's the fucking scraping or swabbing or whatever that comes afterwards that's soooooooooooooooooooo uncomfortable!!

I felt it was scraping the inner wall of my vagina (ok that's not true, it's actually the opening of the cervix) but hole fucking shitball.

Most. Uncomfortable. Feeling. Ever.

And I thought letting a stranger squeeze my boobs were uncomfortable?? How naive was I.


Oklah, I know you're an expert, you've had 10120231 pap smear tests, and you must be thinking  "alaaaaaa setakat feeling pap smear je dah dramatik over over".

Whatever.

I'm telling how I felt and if you don't like it, then go write on your own blog.

Eh tetiba defensive apahal.
HAHAHAH

Anyway, I hated the feeling. It didn't hurt. And when Don asked me how it felt, I couldn't describe it. I told him, it's not just something I can describe.

He said "try me"

I said "Can't. You don't have a hole in your private region"

He said "yes I do. A butt hole"

T___________T

Whatever, gua malas nak layan laki gua.

Ok bai.